Jan Stafford Kellis

No time to read? Horrors!

“I don’t have time to read,”  mused my friend.  I’ll call her Dora.  Dora Boring. I considered her statement, glancing around her immaculate house and yard.  She doesn’t work more than 25 hours per week (I work 50 outside the home, not counting my writing);  she has two kids and…

To Blog or Not To Blog

That’s the real question.  How much time should I dedicate to writing and editing a blog, when I don’t know who (if anyone) is reading it? I could easily write book reviews, snippets about my days and observations on everything from the weather to my Pinterest obsession. But shouldn’t I…

My word! What a cool chair.

My word! What a cool chair.

My first adventure with Mod Podge resulted in an eclectic, wordy conversation piece I plan to use at future Bookworms Anonymous meetings. My training consisted of viewing a YouTube video of a woman applying Mod Podge to a flat surface.  The one tip I gleaned was this:  after applying the…

Procrastination

OK, so are there any excuses to justify procrastinating on a project? A project that’s been planned, promised and prepared, but not written? Just as I thought. It’s tough to carve out time right now–when I have time, I have no mental energy. When I’m feeling mentally ambitious and creative,…

When in Doubt, Alphabetize

I’m a control freak and I know it. I not only know it, I embrace it as I strive to find one tiny corner of this chaotic world to organize, introducing order to a previously discombobulated system, even if it was working just fine before I meddled. The uncontrollable urge to organize doubtless passed to me through my ancestors, as evidenced by their carefully filed and preserved photographs, newspaper articles and personal journaling efforts, crated in separate boxes and totes, clearly labeled and neatly stacked in the Family History section of the basement storage room.

Each organizational challenge presents specific goals (why does it need organization? To preserve my sanity!) and categorizational options (should I organize spices by type–baking vs. cooking–or by age–the oldest to the front, the fresh stuff in the back–or by size of container–short to tall or tall to short?) and sometimes this attention to detail, for which I have been praised by teachers, bosses and strangers on the street, becomes a handicap and the details threaten to suffocate me even as I determine which details are worthy of attention. Organizing the spices will save hours while I cook and bake, reaching confidently to the proper shelf for each spice and seasoning, proving the reward is measurable and attainable, fully justifying the mental effort I’m dedicating to the organizational system. The spice cupboard presents its own challenges with its swinging multi-tiered unit featuring narrow, stationary shelves, able to accommodate only 65.7% of my spices in their original jars. A brief search on the internet provides enough information to decide I am not ready to invest in a set of spice jars, so the organizational method is already compromised by the existing shelf and jar sizes, precluding sorting by age or type of cooking. Organizing by size is still an option, at least for those jars that will fit on a shelf.

After several hours of brainstorming and sketching, considering and rejecting various plans, after reviewing some recipes to see if I even have all the spices I need (I don’t), and after planning the menu for the next week during one particularly long recipe book sojourn, I put the spices in their rack organized by size, smallest ones on the top and tall ones on the bottom, each shelf alphabetized by common name of spice (mustard seed comes before nutmeg).

The task complete, the first flush of satisfaction is suddenly compromised by the realization that the laundry supplies have been thoughtlessly plopped on the shelf with no regard to order of application or even amount left in the containers. A half-full jug of detergent towers next to a spray bottle of stain remover, fully concealing the sample-size package of dryer sheets. A frenzied reshuffling quickly results in a properly organized laundry supply shelf, with various stain removers (alphabetized by brand name) on the far left, then detergents, softeners and dryer sheets standing bravely, at the ready for the next chocolate-, grass- or wine-stained garments, my friend the alphabet quietly taming each section of shelf.

It’s finally time to relax, so I grab my book and head for my favorite chair. My eyes stray from the page several times, the DVDs across the room snagging my attention as I confirm that which I already knew: they are hopelessly out of order, some even placed backwards so the title isn’t visible. Who would be so careless? A frantic recitation of the alphabet aids in rearranging the titles at double-time speed. The restored order works like a tonic, allowing my blood pressure to descend back to normal range and my disorder anxiety (quite different from an anxiety disorder, but debilitating nonetheless) quiets to its usual thrum.

Lunch time passed some time ago–finally noticing my stomach’s repeated bids for attention I open the fridge in search of sandwich fixings, confronted instead by complete culinary chaos. Why are the dressings not corralled as a group in their door pocket? Who in the world placed the mustard (condiment section) near the milk (beverage section)? How is one expected to locate butter, hidden as it is behind the jumbo-sized mayonnaise?

Lunch will be served late today…one more corner of the world requires immediate action.