I attended a seminar yesterday in which the facilitator used the word ‘profusively’ five times. We were updating our CPR training, and the question was: “if you happen upon a scene were a victim is bleeding profusively, what do you do?” I thought: before or after I correct his grammar?…
If anyone out there still doesn’t own an Easy button from Staples, it’s time to drive to your nearest Staples (I drove all the way to Grand Rapids, 5 hours each way, so don’t try to say you don’t have one close enough) and buy one. Better yet, buy a couple in case your friend/enemy/babysitter/accountant/co-worker/mailman/telephone repairman/step-cousin-in-law needs one too. Whoever invented this button deserves a huge bonus and a large raise for brightening up millions of people’s lives with the simple three word phrase “that was easy”.
For those of you not in the know, the Easy button is a large red button, attractive and friendly in a technologically keen way, sitting anywhere you might need it, that, when pressed, states in a matter-of-fact masculine voice, “that was easy”. The button begs to be pressed, performs every time on time, and does so in a consistently cheerful manner. It’s fun, it’s functional and it’s cheap humor therapy.
We were discussing the merits of the Easy button at work the other day when someone said, “boy, it’s not very often you hear that phrase anymore. Everything is becoming more and more difficult.” I told him, “you need a button. That’s the whole point–stop seeing the difficulty in everything and embrace the easy tasks!” Any large, difficult task can be broken down into small steps–the more difficult the task, the more steps–but each time a small step is completed, it merits a pressing of the Easy button. Hence, the more difficult the task, the more times you get to hear “that was easy” so the easier it is! Everyone needs one of these things. Even if a task is truly difficult, once it’s over, it’s no longer difficult because it’s completed. Time to press the button. Go ahead, it’s free (the 4 AA batteries last a llloooonnnggg time). Press it twice. That was easy.